Facebook Saves Peoples Lives
Teenagers "like" the pain away
It has come to the attention of many of us working with the media that there has been an incredible decrease in starvation rates and infant mortality rates in third world countries such as Africa since Facebook has started its incredible "like" campaign. Day after day there are copious amounts of food appearing out of thin air, feeding these poor orphaned children. Also blankets and fresh water have been cropping up all over the place. No more dehydration or hypothermia in sight thanks to the wonderful teenagers across the world.
Even more miraculous is how for years and years scientists and medical personal have worked themselves to the bone in attempt to discover the cure for cancer. All their time would have better benefited by logging into Facebook it seems. Now with just the click of a button all your loved ones will be free of cancer forever, and scientists can spend their time doing useful things, such as developing a like button that cures three diseases at once instead of only one.
This groundbreaking news will be incredible help to the people of New York, USA who have recently been devastated by the wrath of hurricane sandy. Citizens of this state need not worry though, just tell your president to long into his Facebook account and all the damage can be cleared in a matter of seconds.
The world can rest easy now that Facebook has come to save the day. No more disease or devastation in sight thanks to teenagers who can sit at home and and "like" away the pain.
Next up... do Tumblr match-ups actually help you find your soul mate?
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